I try to be nice. I make sure I smile. I use kinder, gentler ways of talking.
But this is because I know, I know, that I have sharp edges.
I don't automatically like people. I don't automatically see other people. Sometimes I am irritated and annoyed by other people. I don't immediately warm to people, and you have to earn your way in, or catch me in an unlike, me moment.
I am better as I age, but still, underneath, or even on the surface, I am sharp edged, and liable to cut you. I know this creates a distance. Other people can sense it, but part of me likes my sharp edges. I like being me. What I have now with age is the ability to turn my sharp edges off, but they are spring loaded, and have a hair trigger, and just push on the wrong spot, and my edges will sharpen and you will be cut.